I've got a feeling
that everything that is
came from what was
and what was
came from what became
which is what now
has become
as a result
of what is
And I'm pretty sure that
I am now
what I was then
but tried not to be
and was not
because I wouldn't let
what was me
be what I was
until now
If this is true then
where we are
is where we are
because of where we were
when we were
where we were
even when
there
wasn't yet here
Wednesday, January 28, 2015
today
the moment I am in
is the spot
where all is not
what it shouldn't have been
I can not comprehend
or expect
what is next
or stop the spin
of the earth
is the spot
where all is not
what it shouldn't have been
I can not comprehend
or expect
what is next
or stop the spin
of the earth
Thursday, October 23, 2014
Full Circle
When I first graduated college back in 1998, I reported straight to the classroom. My degree was in secondary education, and I had landed a job teaching 7th grade English. I was an idiot. I know it sounds harsh, but there is really no other way to describe a guy who tossed scissors into the drop ceiling tiles and piled desks against the wall so that kids could sit on the floor. I taped carpet that I had rescued from dumpsters onto the floor and moved the room around weekly. Never did I take a whole lot of care to make sure things were safe for the kids. At one point, a movie screen that I had attached to the wall using a bent fork, fell into the face of a rambunctious kid... he ended up getting five stitches... he deserved it.
Somehow, I kept my job that year and was even asked by the principal to stay when I decided to leave teaching to pursue an internship with Young Life. I guess I was a pretty good teacher, just too young to know how stupid I was.
After three years of youth ministry, I returned to the classroom only this time to work in the 9th grade. I was still kind of an idiot, but the last three years spent taking kids on trips around the country and the world had helped me to take a bit more care. Again, I thrived and had great success, achieving student favorite as well as earning the respect of my peers through collaborative efforts in curriculum writing and the development of student reward systems. As such, I did what any normal person would do when things were going well; I left teaching again.
We moved to Colorado and I took a position as the Director of Senior High Ministries at a large church. I was in charge of a high school youth group that had about three hundred on the roll and a little over one hundred and fifty kids who attended every Sunday. It was an amazing amount of work, but most of the time, it was a ridiculous amount of fun.
After two years of that, my father got ill and we moved back East to North Carolina where I worked in college admissions, and then for another church as the Creative Director and Student Pastor... that was when the impossible happened. They fired me. After many years of tempering and becoming a "non-idiot" this church decided that I was not the right "fit". Never mind that my family and I had attended the church since almost the beginning when there were only about fifteen people in attendance. Never mind that the church had grown by almost fifty percent in the three years since I had come on staff (one of two full time staff people), never mind that many of the members said that one of the main reasons they came was because of the music (of which I was in charge), never mind that many said that they loved attending small groups and discussions that I facilitated because they felt I was genuine. The head pastor decided that I wasn't a fit, so he convinced the leadership team that this was true, and canned me without warning.
So now I have come full circle. After a short stint working for a company that treated me more poorly than a discarded kleenex, I took an interim position at a middle school teaching 8th grade English.
Now, after ten years out of the classroom, I am back in the saddle, and enjoying it more than ever before. This Monday I will interview for my job a second time as the teacher that I was an interim for has decided to move to Florida (probably to work at the first middle school I worked at). Like I said, "full circle", and did I mention that the church that we now attend is asking me to consider raising support and coming on staff?
Somehow, I kept my job that year and was even asked by the principal to stay when I decided to leave teaching to pursue an internship with Young Life. I guess I was a pretty good teacher, just too young to know how stupid I was.
After three years of youth ministry, I returned to the classroom only this time to work in the 9th grade. I was still kind of an idiot, but the last three years spent taking kids on trips around the country and the world had helped me to take a bit more care. Again, I thrived and had great success, achieving student favorite as well as earning the respect of my peers through collaborative efforts in curriculum writing and the development of student reward systems. As such, I did what any normal person would do when things were going well; I left teaching again.
We moved to Colorado and I took a position as the Director of Senior High Ministries at a large church. I was in charge of a high school youth group that had about three hundred on the roll and a little over one hundred and fifty kids who attended every Sunday. It was an amazing amount of work, but most of the time, it was a ridiculous amount of fun.
After two years of that, my father got ill and we moved back East to North Carolina where I worked in college admissions, and then for another church as the Creative Director and Student Pastor... that was when the impossible happened. They fired me. After many years of tempering and becoming a "non-idiot" this church decided that I was not the right "fit". Never mind that my family and I had attended the church since almost the beginning when there were only about fifteen people in attendance. Never mind that the church had grown by almost fifty percent in the three years since I had come on staff (one of two full time staff people), never mind that many of the members said that one of the main reasons they came was because of the music (of which I was in charge), never mind that many said that they loved attending small groups and discussions that I facilitated because they felt I was genuine. The head pastor decided that I wasn't a fit, so he convinced the leadership team that this was true, and canned me without warning.
So now I have come full circle. After a short stint working for a company that treated me more poorly than a discarded kleenex, I took an interim position at a middle school teaching 8th grade English.
Now, after ten years out of the classroom, I am back in the saddle, and enjoying it more than ever before. This Monday I will interview for my job a second time as the teacher that I was an interim for has decided to move to Florida (probably to work at the first middle school I worked at). Like I said, "full circle", and did I mention that the church that we now attend is asking me to consider raising support and coming on staff?
Monday, April 14, 2014
some things
Some things we just forget
Some things we etch in deep
Some things we have to spit
Some things we have to keep
Some things we poke and prod
Some things we stroke and pet
Some things we make a god
Some things we never get
Some things are made of gold
Some things are made of stone
Some things are made to hold
Some things are to be thrown
Some things are good for short
Some things are good for long
Some things like to report
Some things that we did wrong
Some things we leave behind
Some things we know we should
Some things are so unkind
Some things become un-good
Some things are better left
Some things are never right
Those things I think I'll leave
And let them have the night
Some things we etch in deep
Some things we have to spit
Some things we have to keep
Some things we poke and prod
Some things we stroke and pet
Some things we make a god
Some things we never get
Some things are made of gold
Some things are made of stone
Some things are made to hold
Some things are to be thrown
Some things are good for short
Some things are good for long
Some things like to report
Some things that we did wrong
Some things we leave behind
Some things we know we should
Some things are so unkind
Some things become un-good
Some things are better left
Some things are never right
Those things I think I'll leave
And let them have the night
Thursday, March 20, 2014
so, about that - -
Yes - you may have seen the Jackrabbit's rather negative poem... It has now been deleted. It was a rough night... after a rough week... after a rough month... after a rough year...
Though I do believe it is a good poem, I know that I was wrong to post it. I felt like the spirit was saying NOOOOOOO!! but I really didn't care - -
[8] Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
(Philippians 4:8 ESV)
my friend failure
today you had to take a test
and found out what was in it
you beat your head and did your best
and hoped you pushed the limit
and all the things you didn't know
will soon be plain to see
and all the nights not studying
and watching dumb TV
there's nowhere else in all of life
that you can take this stand
there's nowhere someone writes it out
a kind of reversed plan
a thing that makes you conscious of
the stuff you need to know
and big red marks like quandary's blood
to lead you through the snow
it's been said evaluation
is a thing that you should fear
but I think it's a thing to hold
and learn from failure's tears
if all of life had written tests
and study guides and books
we wouldn't have to base our days
on other's sordid looks
and failure what a funny friend
who punches when you're down
and waits and laughs beside the lake
like he wants to see you drown
then gives a glance just to his left
and nods a little smile
your feet touch bottom and you know
its been there all the while
and stronger now your head emerges
from the water's end
and failure grabs your hand and says
you're learning much, my friend
and found out what was in it
you beat your head and did your best
and hoped you pushed the limit
and all the things you didn't know
will soon be plain to see
and all the nights not studying
and watching dumb TV
there's nowhere else in all of life
that you can take this stand
there's nowhere someone writes it out
a kind of reversed plan
a thing that makes you conscious of
the stuff you need to know
and big red marks like quandary's blood
to lead you through the snow
it's been said evaluation
is a thing that you should fear
but I think it's a thing to hold
and learn from failure's tears
if all of life had written tests
and study guides and books
we wouldn't have to base our days
on other's sordid looks
and failure what a funny friend
who punches when you're down
and waits and laughs beside the lake
like he wants to see you drown
then gives a glance just to his left
and nods a little smile
your feet touch bottom and you know
its been there all the while
and stronger now your head emerges
from the water's end
and failure grabs your hand and says
you're learning much, my friend
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
Trust
Did you ever notice that when you really trust someone, you don't think critically about what they tell you? It is almost as if the trust that was built can override your own sensibilities to the point that if they tell you something, you can assume that the thinking has already been done for you, and there is no need for you to engage your "critical" brain. It could be as simple as good advise on how to handle a situation or as sinister as steering the thoughts of others in a negative way against another person. It's all about our influence and how we use it. The faith that others put in us can easily and unintentionally be misused for our own gain. Conversely, it is easy to find ourselves on the receiving end of this misuse of trust, and dismiss suspicions because we know that this person would never do anything to intentionally wrong us.
So where is the balance? Is there a time when can we love and trust completely, and shift critical brain to neutral? Matthew 10:16-22 says
[16] “Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves. [17] Beware of men, for they will deliver you over to courts and flog you in their synagogues, [18] and you will be dragged before governors and kings for my sake, to bear witness before them and the Gentiles. [19] When they deliver you over, do not be anxious how you are to speak or what you are to say, for what you are to say will be given to you in that hour. [20] For it is not you who speak, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you. [21] Brother will deliver brother over to death, and the father his child, and children will rise against parents and have them put to death, [22] and you will be hated by all for my name's sake. But the one who endures to the end will be saved.
Jesus is talking about persecution here, and what will happen to his followers for "his name's sake". While most of the time we are not being persecuted for his name, there is one part here that stands out. Verse 21 says; "Brother will deliver brother over to death, and the father his child, and children will rise against parents and have them put to death," He makes a point here that even in our most trusted relationships, there will be the ultimate betrayal. Remember, we live in a fallen world and we are all fallen people and this means that none of us are exempt from the heart's temptation to revert back to reprehensible behavior. Not brothers, mothers, fathers or children - for all have Sin and fall short of the glory of God. So I think the answer to our question is... never.
The critical brain needs to always stay engaged, no matter the person and the role they play in our lives, we must always hear critically. Still give the appropriate weight to the advise while considering the source, but hear the truth spoken through the filter that God gives us to hear correctly. If we feel uneasy about something being said, that may be reason to question it, to pray about it and seek the counsel of others. The intentions behind advise that is given may be good, and coming from a good and loving source, but they could also be just plain wrong. Remember, questioning someone who loves you can only serve to bring better clarity and seeing a situation with clarity is better than any one person's advise will ever be.
So where is the balance? Is there a time when can we love and trust completely, and shift critical brain to neutral? Matthew 10:16-22 says
[16] “Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves. [17] Beware of men, for they will deliver you over to courts and flog you in their synagogues, [18] and you will be dragged before governors and kings for my sake, to bear witness before them and the Gentiles. [19] When they deliver you over, do not be anxious how you are to speak or what you are to say, for what you are to say will be given to you in that hour. [20] For it is not you who speak, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you. [21] Brother will deliver brother over to death, and the father his child, and children will rise against parents and have them put to death, [22] and you will be hated by all for my name's sake. But the one who endures to the end will be saved.
Jesus is talking about persecution here, and what will happen to his followers for "his name's sake". While most of the time we are not being persecuted for his name, there is one part here that stands out. Verse 21 says; "Brother will deliver brother over to death, and the father his child, and children will rise against parents and have them put to death," He makes a point here that even in our most trusted relationships, there will be the ultimate betrayal. Remember, we live in a fallen world and we are all fallen people and this means that none of us are exempt from the heart's temptation to revert back to reprehensible behavior. Not brothers, mothers, fathers or children - for all have Sin and fall short of the glory of God. So I think the answer to our question is... never.
The critical brain needs to always stay engaged, no matter the person and the role they play in our lives, we must always hear critically. Still give the appropriate weight to the advise while considering the source, but hear the truth spoken through the filter that God gives us to hear correctly. If we feel uneasy about something being said, that may be reason to question it, to pray about it and seek the counsel of others. The intentions behind advise that is given may be good, and coming from a good and loving source, but they could also be just plain wrong. Remember, questioning someone who loves you can only serve to bring better clarity and seeing a situation with clarity is better than any one person's advise will ever be.
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