Could it be that when you ask God to take all of who you are that he actually acts? Could our prayers for growth actually bring pain? Could it be that our God who loves us enough to give himself up for us would give us a situation in which those who we love and trust the most are taken from us? It may be death or abandonment, or backstabbing or the sheer technicalities of life, but is God answering my prayers for depth by ransacking my life? He has shaken my illusion of good health with cancer, pierced my love of things through poverty and pulled out the safe rug of church through the ugliness that lies within the politics of it... and today I stand only because of Him. Today I cannot rest on occupation, ability to provide or health. I cannot stand on my appearance or good nature - in fact I cannot stand at all if not for Him. It is only in Him that I stand and though I feel weak, I feel big. Today, I am a man... only a man, but at least I am a man. Not a child. Not less than. Not more than. Just me.
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