Saturday, February 21, 2015

Stolen Hugs

I am a dad. I have two boys, Six and Two. Even to write the word dad is still a relatively foreign thing to me when speaking of myself... but here I am. Sometimes I wonder if the hugs I steal are felt the way they are given. I want to hold them and squeeze them so hard that they cannot help but know that I can never fully express how much love I have for them. They break my things - I get mad - I hug them and ask forgiveness. They do amazing things, I hug them and tell them I am proud. They wake up in the morning - I hug them and tell them good-morning. They are just there... just sitting there - I look at them and I hug them. I never want that to stop. I want them to grow, but I want them to stay the same. I long to see them become men but don't want to loose the child I have been given. Hugs for my boys are like water on a dry tongue.

Stolen Hugs
you don't know my forearms are feeling your breath
you don't know the skin next to my eye is feeling your cheek
you don't know my head is feeling your hair
you don't know my life is breathing your voice
you don't know the blood in my veins knows the word

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

The Perpetual Joy of Normal

Tonight is dark and cold, but I am not dressed in heavy clothes. The house is warm and the outside glass of the windows is covered in the black paint of the night sky. There is a thin layer of blown snow on the worn wood deck just beyond the window reflections and I can't be certain, but I think the dogs have pooped in the basement... again.
What happens when normal is what brings the widest smile? What happens when happiness becomes a habit and positivity a lifestyle? What do we do when an aching back reminds us that spring will soon be here and a scar makes us hug our children tighter?

I just thank God.

What Is

I've got a feeling
that everything that is
came from what was
and what was
came from what became
which is what now
has become
as a result
of what is

And I'm pretty sure that
I am now
what I was then
but tried not to be
and was not
because I wouldn't let
what was me
be what I was
until now

If this is true then
where we are
is where we are
because of where we were
when we were
where we were
even when
wasn't yet here


the moment I am in
is the spot
where all is not
what it shouldn't have been
I can not comprehend
or expect
what is next
or stop the spin
of the earth